struggling

Struggling with the whole update thing.
Life is so busy. Work is so busy.

So we're at the end of our first semester. and it's been crazy.

1.- had student fight in my classroom about 8 weeks in. Blood on the walls and everything. Desks pushed all over the room, chairs thrown all over the place. Papers on the floor. and cops escorting my students out.
2.- have had to relocate my classroom twice due to a fire.
3- pretty sure most of my students hate me
4- my classroom management sucks
5- I feel like I'm bothering my coworkers when I ask for help
6- pretty sure most of my coeworkers hate me....including my boss

tired and stressed

Our district had exams every 6 weeks

Time for our second round of tests, and I'm extreamly stressed out about it. I have three tests to look over for the three different preps. There is SO much information we havn't gone over, and that is poorly written, I don't know what to do. Some of it seems SO complicated for a middle schooler to understand.

I am stressed out. and having a horrible panic attack.

I don't know if I'm doing this right, or how to change what I do,

I spend so much time just figuring out HOW to teach some information, I don't have time to go back and figuring out how to better my lesson, or differentate, or ask higher questions of blooms.

I hate teaching four preps. It's SO much and I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm tired All the time. I'm depressed and feel clueless and BEHIND all the time.

can I even do this?

How can I stay motivated?

I knew this was going to be dificult. but I guess didn't realise HOW dificult this would be.

blue, da bu de

Just finished up the first 6 weeks of school.

School is hard.

I am very homesick and depressed...

probably from not taking my pills because I can't get anything done when I'm on them...apparently I can't get anything done off of them either.

constatnly getting in trouble at school for not getting things done I had no idea that I had to do in the first place. Being out of the loop and new sucks.

some kids I do not like...and hate that i don't like them...then there are others I love so dearly and they are amazing and smart.

I go to bed at 8pm when ever i can

i have no idea what my coworkers think of me. because I only really talk to two of them.
I am always tired...and I've got the october burnt out blues...

but it can only get better right?

One of my Favorite Movie Lines

This movie is okay, but I just LOVE this conversation the mother of the main character has with her daughter about a chat Haru had with a kitten when she was younger.

Life IS Tough.

And I know it has GOT to get better from here. So I just need to take it one leg... one step...one day at a time while I figure out how to keep my head above water in all of this work that needs to get done.

10. I should not be aloud to touch to copy machine ever...I tend to break things.

11. Let students do projects for you that need to get done. Some of them actually enjoy helping you cut paper or prepare simple items for another class's lab. While sobbing in front of my principal, she suggested that I let some of my kids help me out during "Activity Period" or after school if they walk home or had time. And this worked well! While most of the students were writing a prompt I had given them about goal setting, I asked if any kids would like to help me with some projects instead which included cutting paper and plastic bag scraps for a lab I was going to do that day, and another group of students to look up some good quotes for me to put up on the board for my "Quote of the Day" Something my science teacher had growing up, and I thought it was a really cool idea. I wonder if they are aloud to use the copy machine? hmm

12. implement Seating Charts is a little more helpful than just letting them sit where they want. For my bio kids of 6 students...it's no problem... for my 8th graders of 15 kids...that is ALSO no problem... but all of my other classes have issues with talking, and being disruptive and not working. I tested one classes with a seating chart and it worked!...for a few days. Now I need to figure out a new chart

 

13 Classroom management is F><King key to everything, My management skills are awful at the moment. I am constantly making my way around the room stopping fires, getting students back on task, figuring out why the don't know a simple concept while I explained it to them in two different ways wit ha few examples of it no more than two minutes ago.

 

That's another thing I struggle with. What is the best way for students to understand that they can look up information for themselves and remember it better and feel so much more accomplished when they do so. I mean, obviously if they shoot me an answer about the topic we're talking about, I can (probably should anyway...lol) be able to get an answer to them in no time at all...but that loses value. They now know the answer to that one problem...they don't know how to solve it or one like it and challenge themselves with asking questions and researching answers and thus asking MORE questions. I want for ALL of them to get to a point where they are fascinating with what we're doing, and they'll want to learn more on their own. ... then again they're also 13.... so... I guess a girl can dream...and try and figure this out

 

I am a horrible person

Sometimes with my students I feel...

Struggling

Balled me eyes out today.

I feel like no matter how much work I get accomplished, I still get nothing done.
I have a pile of work I need to do tomorrow morning
and copies I need to make
and absent students I need to worry about getting their stuff done.

I am struggling with this whole new teacher bit.

Week One Down

Kinda sums up my week

One week in and my brain is already upside down and all sorts of insides out.

It’s a lot more difficult becoming this new teacher than I thought it would. Students are ALL sorts of differences.  They represent themselves so differently something that works in one class has the slightest change of working in another.

My management skills right now…are pretty suck. But I’m learning. I’m slowly coming up with a seating chart to figure out how to separate the talkers, and to bring the kids that force themselves in the back to the front to listen.

So crying and panic attacks.
I want to make sure these kids are getting the correct education they need to go above and beyond the next level of learning. Can I get them there? What is too dumb down information vs. too hard information? How do I explain myself to the class so that they understand  what is going on and what they need to focus on.

and some of the kids are great! and I always have to think if more things to do durring the day because they are organised and ready to go...then there are the other groups that I have to pull teeth to get even the first item on the agenda done

7. Asking a student, "Do you understand?"

8. Classroom competition...work REALLY well
9. The copy machine is evil...it always jams or runs out of tonor RIGHT when I need it)