Applications and Motivations

Filling out lots of applications today and having trouble staying focused and motivated! You’d think the difference between having a job and not having a job would be motivation enough. When you have a lot you have to do, it seems like the best time in the world to learn how to do a back bend or balance a pencil between your upper lip and your nose.

Also, why is it that words and sentences in your head sound so much better than how they look when you write them all down on paper.

Yay!

I passed my exam! whoo!!! and I did a whole lot better than I thought I did. I only missed 10 questions. yay! So now I'm a certified middle School Teacher!

Now to take more exams and find a district that will take me!

I WANT A JOB!

bladder Control

After my exam today, I got onto the interstate to drive home

And then I realized it was 5pm on a weekday…
and that I don’t know the area well enough to take another route…
and that I had to pee really really badly.

I should really get to know the roads better...and remember when you should and when you shouldn't use big ones to get around.

On the bright side, I think I did okay!..THINK!

Studying

This is how I define today.

I have my first big exam tomorrow. I really need to study, but I can NOT focus for more than 10 minutes at a time on the material...so I waste SO much more time than I should and allow myself to become distracted by everything, like blogging, looking at stupid pictures of cats, and reading rage face comics.

I wish the fear of failure was motivation to study and do well. Instead, it makes me want to give up and believes that my goals are a distant delusional fantasy that I’ll never reach.  Like that horrible fight, flight, or freeze defense mechanism where my brain wants to leave me to fend for myself every time something somewhat difficult comes along.

Ugh. I need to get over this!